California

27 Dec

So as most of I have been back in Rhode Island since October. For the record, I did not give up on living in California, I made the difficult decision to move back home because it was financially the smartest thing for me to do. Honestly, there is a lot I could write here, and if you’ve been a frequent visitor here you have read it all before.

This post is more about my experience in California. You all only saw the parts I wanted to share, the edited parts that masked how the year actually went. If you noticed the only photographs I posted were of cups of tea with the mountain background and of the sunsets, there were hardly ever people in the photographs. Frankly, that is all I did while living on the mountain the last year. I spent most of the year feeling alone, being forced to invite myself to things when I heard about them last minute, because truthfully I was not actually wanted. I had all of maybe three friends that at least tried to make me feel included. California was rough.

I have this problem, where I somehow soak up peoples negative energy like a sponge. And this is part of the problem I had the beginning half of the school year. All it took was one person constantly being negative to ruin my entire year. Maybe it is also because when I am nervous and anxious I talk too much, and I get excited about nature related things. I have a hard time having conversations with people and with people never taking me seriously or thinking that I am not intelligent. Who knows, this is part of the reason why I have a issues with trusting people and opening up.

There will be people who might be offended by the things I write, but that doesn’t mean I should not speak up and say the things I often keep bottled up inside. Because we all know that isn’t healthy either.

This coming year I am going to start making changes, because I don’t want to feel alone and like I don’t have a place where I belong. I am going to ignore the people and things those people say that contribute to me being unhappy. This year I am going to focus on me and worry less about the people around me and what they think of me. So, what do I need from you my amazingly loving friends, I need encouragement throughout this year, I need people to make an effort, because I have put more effort into my friendships and it seems like I am the only one trying. I want to keep in touch with the people who I know are there and have been a huge support. And finally, if you’ve read this entire post thank you. Stay beautiful you wonderful humans.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

The Nerdy Lion

Lions can wear glasses too

Our New (England) Life

Simply living the simple life

Ellie Phipps Poetry

"She's got a real cat-in-a-bathtub vibe"- Nick Miller

deeniefoo

"There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity." Washington Irving

Hiking Photography

Beautiful photos of hiking and other outdoor adventures.

Successify!

Create a Life That Matters!

Hamilton Hodell's Blog

The latest news from Hamilton Hodell

Marco Lilliu

Comics, Graphics, Sketches & more

Amanda Palmer Blog

The weblog of paperdaisygirl

Neil Gaiman's Journal

The weblog of paperdaisygirl

The weblog of paperdaisygirl

The Kinship Lounge

A Virtual platform for sharing real life stories and experiences

maggiemaeijustsaythis

through the darkness there is light

Words Of Birds

Left the Nest

finallyrain

things I wrote

The weblog of paperdaisygirl

%d bloggers like this: