“Your life is like a jar of jelly beans.”

2 Mar

The title of this post is a quote said frequently by one of my favorite professors: Mr. Smith. And it just seemed appropriate for this post.

Here are some fantastic things I have in my life as of now:

1. Friends who tolerate me even when I am at my worst.
2. Family
3. A church that I am growing to love.
4. Dancing
5. A small job.
6. An idea of where I want to go with my life.

And with these things I am mostly content… Like 98% content.

Life never goes completely how we expect it to… it simply happens. You can either force it to happen the way you had planned or you can just go with whatever is thrown at you. For most of my life I think I always tried to make things happen the way I wanted and only finally in the last couple of months I must have subconsciously decided that in order for me to be content and pleasantly happy I simply had to “go with the flow”.
For example in October, I finally found a grad school program that I knew was perfect for me and it was Mass Art or nothing, well after rushing a portfolio and getting things submitted hours after the actual deadline, and then spending the past month and a half waiting to hear back from admissions, I came to the realization that something must have not have been received in time. Just because something didn’t go right this time, doesn’t mean I am giving up, it means I have almost an entire year to get everything together and get an amazing portfolio completed. Because I will get into Mass Art.

I am also determined to live in Massachusetts starting next fall. Most of the dancing and hanging out with people, has been in MA… Two hours driving total.. is a lot of driving. Honestly, it’s been worth the drive.

For two Sunday’s I have been going to a church up in Massachusetts, it’s a bit of a drive but I am happy to make that drive, because church has been an important part of my life and I’ve been neglecting it in the past few years. Not because I stopped liking it but because my home church didn’t feel like home anymore. I had gone away to school in Virginia and came home and didn’t know anyone at the church when I came back, and felt like I wasn’t being filled spiritually in the I needed. This new church was incredibly welcoming (it helps that a few of my friends go to the church) and I already feel like I am supposed to be there. Through church and some of my newer friends that I have made through dancing and being to share my faith with them I feel walls in my heart falling down and burdens feeling lighter.

Finally, I am starting to feel balanced and content and peace. I like that feeling.

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